Ten Sweet Bliss

When writing about a beautiful shadow, Companionship finds me hugging myself. My knees will then buckle. My sanity will falter, But that's why I called him in the first place: ...

Besides, if he came in the afternoon, old people would be everywhere. Collin wanted to be alone with her. I feel like you should put more emphasis on "her" with ...

Wake Up (Make a Move) - LostProphets

Love is Dead - Tokio Hotel

Great hook sentence. It immediately grabbed my attention. I especially like how you didn't really specify who was speaking, but you still made it obvious to infer who was. The ...

I find this really cute and heartwarming (especially the end!), so good job on that. Overall, I really respect the fast-paced events and thoughts you intertwine into such a brief ...

Likewise, I'd die to hear the recording of this song. Not only are the lyrics mesmerizing, but the imagery it invokes, and the sheer random sense! Parodies like this make ...

Once there was a monster who spoke only about bubble gum. He thought that he should take a lesson about bubbles and rubber bands. He could jump over the river ...

Once there was a monster who spoke only about bubble gum. He thought that he should take a lesson about bubbles and rubber bands. He could jump over the river ...

This is a massive improvement! Good job! :) Content-wise, I love what you did with the flashback sequence. Marie's personality is also obvious and critical from the start of the ...

I find the first paragraph very lightheated and oddly fresh considering the supernatural theme. My only concern really is that I get this feeling that Catcher is that cliche ditzy-girl ...

I agree with Ambercoultis about the details of the protagonist's life. To add on, I'd like to suggest that keeping the answers to those questions in mind will definitely contribute ...

"I Hate Everything About You" - Three Days Grace

Once there was a monster who spoke only about bubble gum. He thought that he should take a lesson about bubbles and rubber bands. He could jump over the river ...

What Happened to Us? - Hoobastank